Many different kinds of vibrators can be used for massage or sexual pleasure. They come in a variety of different sizes, shapes, and materials and can even be remote-control, clitoral, G-spot, or waterproof. They can be battery-powered or use an electrical outlet. For some women, a vibrator might make the difference between adequate stimulation and the ability to achieve an orgasm or not. About 60% of the female population are not able to reach an orgasm with penetration alone. If you have never used a vibrator, it may seem like a scary thing. Here are some helpful instructions for the novice or the expert alike.
Get to know your vibrator. Take your vibrator out of the package and get to know how it works and what kind of batteries it takes. Play with the buttons, turn it on and off, and examine switches. Find out how many speeds and settings it has. Wash your vibrator well before using it; use warm water with a mild soap and make sure to rinse it well so that no residual soap remains. If it isn’t waterproof, be careful not to get any water near the battery case. Check for sharp edges or seams.
Start on your own. Even if you’re planning on using your vibrator with a partner, it’s a good idea to check it out by yourself first. You’ll feel less self-conscious and you can really concentrate on how it feels. Make sure you have enough time and privacy. If you have roommates, children, thin walls, or nosy neighbors, you can always turn on some music, shut the blinds, and make use of blankets and comforters to mute the sound.
Play with the lights turned on. Not everyone will be comfortable with this suggestion. Playing with a vibrator with the lights on can be very educational and useful. You can discover specific places on your body that are rich with nerve endings and ready for enjoyment and stimulation. This is the kind of information you can use on yourself and in the future to share with a lover.
Turn it off before you turn it on. Get comfortable with the feel of the vibrator on your body. Run it along your body without even turning it on. Notice how it feels. Press it firmly against your skin and press it onto your body and massage your muscles. If the vibrator is made out of a hard material this will probably feel nice. If the vibrator is a soft rubber and doesn’t feel smooth against your skin, try it with your clothes on. This isn’t meant to give you an orgasm, but it’s a gentle and nonthreatening way of introducing your body to the vibrator.
Move your vibrator from the outside in. Once you turn it on, start by touching the vibrator to your body to help you understand the vibration sensation. Even though vibrators are used mostly around the vulva and clitoris, get a feel for the vibration all over your body include touching your breasts and other areas where it will feel good. Slowly move to the more sensitive parts of your body.
Do not be in a rush: explore every part of your body. The interesting thing about vibrators is that they never get tired, and they let you explore every inch of your body for sexual pleasure. Many women use vibrators for clitoral stimulation, and some report that one side or even one portion of their clitoris responds to vibration more than another. Don’t rush; leaving a vibrator in place can allow it to establish sensation connections that previously weren’t there.
Adjust the speed, pressure, and other settings of the vibrator. Most vibrators have multiple speed settings (or at least two settings). Always start on a low setting and work your way up. Experiment with applying different pressures. You may enjoy a lot of deep pressure with clitoral stimulation.
Most women use vibrators for external stimulation, but as long as your vibrator is safe for penetration, there’s no reason not to try it. A vibrator that is safe for penetration will be smooth, have no rough edges, and won’t absorb bodily fluids. In almost all cases, it’s recommended to put a condom over a vibrator if you’re using it for penetration. You should also use water-based lubricant when using a vibrator for penetration. If you are not sharing your vibrator and are using it exclusively for yourself, then you may choose not use a condom.
Start slow with penetration and get yourself aroused by using the vibrator externally first. Although far more nerve endings are outside the vagina than inside, lots of women enjoy penetration with a vibrator. Some women will use a vibrator to stimulate the G-spot (). It has also been hypothesized that nerve endings in the cervix respond to stimulation and pressure. Pressing the vibrator against the top of your vagina (such as pressing it toward your belly) may provide G-spot stimulation or even indirect clitoral stimulation.
You can use your vibrator with your partner in any number of ways.
You can use your vibrator with your partner in any number of ways. You can control the pressure, using it on yourself to add stimulation during sex play with a partner. You can use the vibrator on your partner (or vice versa). You can also find a vibrator that fits well between you and your partner that neither of you need to control, but that can add stimulation during sex. If you want to insert a vibrator for penetration be certain that the toy is smooth and seamless. Also be certain to use a condom if you are using the vibrator with another partner or sharing the toy.
Take your batteries out. Get in the habit of taking your batteries out of the vibrator each time you are finished using it. If you leave the batteries in, the vibrator may turn on to a very low speed (or you may leave it on low without knowing it) and this can both burn out the motor and make for some embarrassing moments when everyone at dinner is wondering where that buzzing sound is coming from. Also, if you leave your vibrator alone for extended periods with the batteries in, they can corrode and leak into the battery case, destroying your vibrator.
Selections from the book: Michael L. Krychman, “100 Questions and Answers about Women’s Sexual Wellness and Vitality: A Practical Guide for the Woman Seeking Sexual Fulfillment”, 2010.